Posts tagged work
So Confused
Feb 25th
I am so confused on what to do with my life.
I am happy, don’t get me wrong. I love my sweetie, I have 3 wonderful kids, and I live in paradise.
I wouldn’t change any of that.
What more could I want?
How about a job that pays me what I am worth for starters.
I bust my ass in a retail job where I don’t have a set schedule and almost never have a full time schedule. The pay sucks, communication sucks, but I do enjoy the actual work. I work days, nights, and weekends depending upon what they schedule me for. Sometimes I have to stay late, on last minutes notice that occasionally puts me at a 10 plus hour shift. Sometimes I get asked to work on my day off. Sometimes I have 15 hours. I never know if I will be able to pay my bills from paycheck to paycheck. Because of the hours I can’t work another part time job without risking loosing hours at my current job since they change so often. I have no benefits and most likely won’t ever be full time or qualify for benefits.
Many of my readers know my previous job was a bit dysfunctional Yeah, that is putting it mid. We don’t need to go there but it was bad. I only got this job to put my daughter through private school.
Before that I was a mother and volunteer. I didn’t finish college. My daughter was struggling with her own education at a young age and It was more important to help her than finish myself. I gained some great experience as a volunteer that while many employers find wonderful they don’t seem to allow my skills gained there to be transfered to a career. That is my perspective.
I have a dream of opening a coffee/bake shop. I have started research and started working on a business plan. I don’t know if I can pull it off. Yes, I have some doubt. Should I continue if I have doubt? I have doubt that I will ever get an investor. It is so much work and for what? If it takes me nowhere is it worth it?
I chose to be a mom. I chose not to worry about a career. Never in that time did I envision that my life would be so different that I would need a job. Now that I am nearing 40 I am worried. Worried that all I will have is crappy, low paying jobs, with no insurance and expected to kill myself for that pay check.
I have thought about going back to school. I have thought long and hard about that business of mine I want to run. I am confused on where to go. In the meantime I struggle to pay the bills, and be able to pay for medical attention when I need it. I had lived in a ghetto in Pittsburgh for over 10 years. I lived with a moron of a husband in a run down house. I had no ambition other than I wanted my kids to have better than I did. I knew what to expect and it wasn’t much. I have since moved on. I left that moron and run down house and moved far, far away. Trying to survive outside the ghetto is harder than I ever thought.
Court
Jun 11th
I wasn’t a bad girl, don’t worry.
I had to go into a magistrate’s office to talk with the DA about filing a few cases for work. It has been years since I walked into one. I don’t know if the one I was married in was just in a nice neighborhood or what but I don’t recall a police officer keeping the front door under lock and key and carrying a scanner to check for weapons.
The sign says “We will open the door as soon as an officer arrives to wand you before entering.”
Nice. I was comfy already. So he asks us to turn off our cell phones, checks our purses and wands us. I was kinda hoping for a fairy to grant us a wish but that didn’t happen. After talking with one of the clerks we were asked to sit and wait. A few minutes later a few lady’s came out of the court room yammering on about how they were thrown out of the court room. Are you ready for the reason? The one smiled at the police officer. They threw her out, and I guess her friend for good measure. Yeah, uh huh I am sure that’s all you did was smile at a police officer.
The police officer with the not so magic wand was sitting there playing with his cell phone texting and what not so the bad girl in me said I can too. Of coarse I hid it like I was doing something wrong.
Some lady came to the door and the officer didn’t want to let her in. Apparently she had come earlier to ask questions and they sent her away telling her to come back at noon. It wasn’t noon and he didn’t want to let her in. The front desk lady said to just let her in. She was kind of annoying asking the same questions over and over. I wish someone would have just wrote it down for her to get it over with.
The police officer with the not so magic wand was sitting there playing with his cell phone texting and what not so the bad girl in me said I can too. Of coarse I hid it like I was doing something wrong.
Some lady came to the door and the officer didn’t want to let her in. Apparently she had come earlier to ask questions and they sent her away telling her to come back at noon. It wasn’t noon and he didn’t want to let her in. The front desk lady said to just let her in. She was kind of annoying asking the same questions over and over. I wish someone would have just wrote it down for her to get it over with.
There was a kid with his parents and the kid was doing what any young boy who was bored being forced to behave in a chair, he started moving his legs back and forth, bobbing his head around, not even making any noise really. The parents kept telling him to settle down. Really I thought he was being good. Maybe it was the fact that this poor kid appeared like he hadn’t slept in a week. The bags under this kid’s eyes were so enormous!
We knew something had to have happened at one point when the front door officer ran out to his car and took off. Within a few minutes 3 more officers ran out of the court room and left as well. Apparently there was a police chase neaby.
After almost 2 hours we finally got to go back to work. For once I was thankful for that.
Little of This and That
May 27th
Right now I miss work for a few reasons. #1 I miss the money cause unemployment isn’t covering it all. #2 I miss talking to people every day. That’s about it. If I could make a living staying home and blogging your damn right I would. But I sure don’t miss not being home when my kids got home.
My sister is laid off from work too. Sucks for her but great for me. I don’t drive, she does. Love ya! 
I think were gonna spend alot of time together. As if we don’t already LOL
I think were gonna spend alot of time together. As if we don’t already LOLYesterday she picked up me and my mom. First we went to lunch at Bob Evans near Century III Mall. Those of you on twitter probably saw my post that the server was getting on our nerves. She asked over and over if we were ready to order and we kept telling her no. Lady get a clue if were still engrossed in our menu’s leave us the hell alone! Apparently we got on her nerves too cause she switched areas with another girl LOL I wasn’t very hungry so I had one pancake and some fruit. I was thankful they had WiFi there though. While I was twittering my mom asked what I was doing. I showed her and she went on about how I better not mention her name. I reassured her that I only said “mom”. She was pretty adamant that she doesn’t want her picture or name mentioned online anywhere. She doesn’t seem to understand why I would bother telling anyone my business at all (Twitter, Facebook, This Blog). Yeah if you couldn’t tell my mom doesn’t have a computer hell she can barely figure out texting. So I guess I won’t share the pic of my mom and me on here.
We spent a few hours in the mall looking around. I am picky when it comes to clothes and my mom and sister don’t have the same taste I do. It’s difficult to shop when you get looks about the stuff you would wear. Normally I don’t give a shit what people think but when your family says shit it’s harder to swallow. That doesn’t mean I agree with them. I did find an awesome dress at Macy’s. Thank you Mom!
This dress even has pockets it’ awesome! My mom just loved my socks, Not! LOL Now I need to go somewhere I can wear my dress 
I will probably spend alot of the summer in it. Oh and Macy’s apparently doesn’t have locks on the dressing room doors. I have a tip for other fellow dressing room people. If the door is closed someone is probably in it. If your not sure please knock. DON’T F’ING open the door! Yeah, I had someone open the door on me while trying on this dress.
I will probably spend alot of the summer in it. Oh and Macy’s apparently doesn’t have locks on the dressing room doors. I have a tip for other fellow dressing room people. If the door is closed someone is probably in it. If your not sure please knock. DON’T F’ING open the door! Yeah, I had someone open the door on me while trying on this dress. 
