Posts tagged New Life
I’ve always wanted more kids. I was the type of person that wanted nothing more out of life than to be a mom. I never longed for a career or to travel the world.
I knew when I was with my ex that he didn’t want anymore kids. Which was probably a good idea considering. He made sure he couldn’t have anymore right after our 3rd was born almost 14 years ago. I gave up hope and moved on.
My sweetie and I have discussed the idea since he has no children of his own and I’m sure his family would be interested in the idea of him having one.
I know how he feels about the subject. I could tell you his thoughts but this is about me. HA! Naw its not my place to speak for him here.
But how do I feel about it?
I really don’t know.
Hell No Option: I have 3 great kids. I don’t have to change diapers or get up in the middle of the night. No crying, screaming or tantrums from the likes of a toddler. I can come and go as I please. I have enough things to worry about financially. My body isn’t getting any younger. I had easy pregnancies, yeah I am one of those, but at my age now would it be so easy. Would I be the same kind of mother I was?
Awww how adorable option: Then the thoughts of that bundle of joy roll in. That sweet tiny human you can mold into a model citizen. The cute things they do and say. Knowing that my sweetie would make a great dad. Seriously when I flew to meet him I saw it. While swimming in the hotel pool he started to play with another family’s kids in the pool. It was the cutest thing ever. Baby’s in the grocery store catch his eye.
When I moved I left everyone I knew with babies and toddlers. So I don’t get any baby fixes anymore. Though i wonder if thats what made me want it more.
Shout out: I miss my sweet little munchkin that I watched grow up and is now in school. I miss you Ava!!!
So far I am letting fate take its course and I think I am okay with that. Fate brought me here where I am happy. Eventually I will reach my personal cut off level in age and have to decide if I am content with my decision.
After almost two years on Prozac I stopped taking it. It helped me through one of the worst times in my life but it was time to let go.
It’s been over 2 months now since I quit and I couldn’t feel better.
My life changes have plenty to do with it but I feel so much better about myself.
I feel free. No panic attacks. No depression. Just ….. Roxy
Wishing good mental health to all my readers.
What Christmas means to me:
Good food, family and the spirit of giving. That is the simplest explanation of why I celebrate. I am not religious.
I love the holiday movies with favorites being ‘A Christmas Story’ (24 full hours every year) ‘Christmas Vacation’ and ‘Elf’.
I love Christmas music, particularly punk rock Christmas music.
I love making a big dinner for people. Even better with helping hands to put more love into the meal.
I love giving gifts. I’ve never felt I was too over the top. I always choose items I think the other person would want or need. If you just pick something to give something I don’t see the point.
I had everything I wanted this Christmas.
This was the best Christmas ever!
Enjoy my new favorite Christmas song to go with my first year living in a beach town
Christmas in the Sand
Merry Christmas from my family to yours
How did I get so lucky? I live in an amazing beach city, with amazing weather and with an amazing guy. With the guy being the absolute best part of it all.
Everything that led me up to today was worth it. All the pain, tears, heartache, and even the depression have made me who I am, and have led me to the life I now have.
Nothing is ever perfect in life but I have learned to enjoy and appreciate what I have. I have someone by my side. He loves me, for me. He is good to my kids, that aren’t his. If I died tomorrow I will have died a happy and full of life woman.
We bring out the best in each other. Playful bickering, teasing, tickling, and acting like general goofballs is the highlight of everyday.
The world is our “room”.
I amazed every morning when I wake up and see him by my side.
I am amazed that we fell into this insta family so easily.
I am amazed at the sky every day as I see the clouds and palm trees.
I am amazed that my kids, while they miss Pittsburgh, have adjusted rather well.
I am amazed that life can be so wonderful.
The other day he asked me what I wanted for my birthday to which I responded, “I have everything I need.” I meant it, I didn’t want nor expect anything. I’m like that, gifts dont make a birthday. All I wanted was to visit the beach and spend the day with him.
It’s 3:30 pm on my birthday and I have already had the best birthday I can remember.
My guy works until midnight so I was sleeping when he got home last night. He woke me up to a gift. He knew it was something I wanted.
My kids all remembered my birthday which made me happy :). I still have many friends to thank on facebook for the birthday wishes as well.
My guy isn’t fond of the beach so it meant so much to me that he was willing to take me this morning and sit there with me.
He took me to breakfast at my favorite place for my favorite meal, Fresh fruit crepes at First Watch.
We finished off they day swimming in the pool before he went to work.
I don’t expect anything from you my love but know that it was an awesome day, thank you! I love you more everyday!