Posts tagged men
Counting the days
May 17th
Counting down the days,
imagening you by my side.
Were both a little crazy,
along for the ride.
Lay with me in the sand,
and wait for the tide.
————-
What a ball of mush.
You make me.
I didn’t think it was possible.
I didn’t plan a thing.
—————–
“I just can’t get enough”
“I can’t get you out of my head”
“You are the only exception”
Patience
May 14th
Patience is something I have been known to have a lot of. I took gaggles of kids on camping trips. I don’t go crazy when a baby cries.
The one ulitimate test of patience was my husband. 18 years worth. My patience has run out.
You tell me you do not see me as a wife, yet as a friend. While you may think having feelings for another one of your friends or seeking out an ex you cheated on me with out of anger is okay, your wrong.
I have put up with you, loved, you, raised your kids, and waited for you.
I gave up. You knew that.
We already live seperate lives for the most part, so don’t dare tell me I am wrong for living mine the way I see fit.
You have done and do what you want, even before I gave up on you.
You refuse to move out, have refused over and over.
Until I have a place to call my own with kids and dogs, you will be free of me.
But please don’t forget YOU DIDN’T WANT ME! You let me go, now leave it alone.
I have yet to air all your dirty laundry, I have yet to be so mad I publicly tell everyone what kind of life we really had together.
I hope friends understand how much I am trying to take the high road and stay out of it as long as his friends stay out of my business.
I am taking a chance. It is the most crazy thing I have ever done in my adult life.
I am going to another state to meet someone I met on Facebook.
These things happen, even when your not looking for it.
My patience with you is up. Please let go.
On to happiness……………
Very Angry
Apr 26th
I so wanted and planned for things to end civily but I am not sure that can happen anymore.
I don’t regert marrying you, as we have 3 great kids I wouldn’t give up for anything. My only regret is not leaving sooner.
I am still attempting to take the high road. And by high road I mean I have yet to publiclly air every detail of our marriage or publicly bash you, as I so want to.
I have my faults but you have hurt me way too much. Let me leave peacfully. Allow me the courtousy of not making this any more difficult than it already is.
I gave you my heart and soul for many years. Regardless of either of our faults I supported you and loved you no matter what so please the least you owe me is to not be a huge douche bag and make things worse.
You owe me so much more than you will ever give me, but at least give me that.
I leave you to hurt someone else, though I don’t wish it upon anyone. The emotional roller coaster you put me through is something I wouldn’t wish on an enemy.
Don’t make me be mean to you…….
Men are easily amused
May 6th
Men are so funny. The things that amuse them are similar to a child. When my kids were young they were happy with a cardboard box. My husband words in HVAC so we often got boxes from air conditioners and furnaces. They would cut windows in them, color them, tear them apart.
So here I am reading through some Tweets on my Ipod on my front porch the other night and hubby comes out and joins me. He is completely amazed with a couple magnets he purchased. They are oh so strong you have to see this. So he continues to show me……….
Look they stick to my belt.
Guess what, I can make them flip.
Right off the table and through the porch boards. O well, one lost is okay.
Can you see the ashtray spin? Isn’t that cool?
They are so strong in a line they hold this lighter!
Why not get our daughter involved. Did you know that you can make it move through a hand?
I was amused enough to photograph it all.
Marriage is difficult
Apr 30th
I have tried staying away from my personal life too much on here.
There are probably only two people in this entire world who knows my entire marriage history, and one of them is our marriage counselor. It’s not an easy history to share.
I am not sure that counseling is really doing any good. There was a period of time he spent more time with me, bought me flowers one day and the next thing you know he disappeared again. That “he” I married. Yeah I know, I don’t expect things to be right overnight. And I know I am not perfect either. It’s damn hard however to work on things with someone who stays away. Excuses, excuses, he is full of them.
How many other women of being married 16+ years have husbands they never see though in the same house? Hell, try it was that way 8 years ago too. Before that he was never home. I’m tired of feeling like room mates. I want love, I want some passion, I want a companion.
I hate not being able to tell people things. I hate keeping most of it inside. I hate feeling alone.
I have held on to hope for so long. Hope that one day he will see what is in front of him. One day he will think to himself how quickly it could all be gone. My hope is diminishing.
I am thankful for the few people I can talk to. The few who would not judge. The few who care. Thank you.
