Posts tagged friends
Forget December
Dec 16th
Sometimes that is exactly what I want to do. December was always one of my favorite months. I enjoy the family time, decorating, giving, etc that comes with this time of year. I hate the snow and the cold but in my decorated house I am warm and fuzzy.
As I get older I am having a hard time with the sadness that also comes with this time of year for some people. Many people get sad with the cold weather and it getting darker earlier. But for those who have lost a loved one this time of year it is extra difficult.
For me it started in 2006 when I lost my father in December. I don’t talk about him much but I do think about him. The following December a family friend passed away. A beautiful mother of two who was way too young to die. It just continues…. my one bosses father just passed two days ago, my friends brother, and the sad news that my mother in law is in stage 4 cancer.
December should be off limits for bad news if you ask me. But we have to try and continue on and remember all the good things about the people we love. Life is short. Make sure to spend time with your family over the holidays!
Happy Holidays and may Angels watch over you.
Ever had that feeling?
Oct 17th
Do you ever get the feeling that something bad is going to happen? It has happened to me many times over the years.
One in particular in the past was while driving on the highway something horrible came over me and I told my husband to get off the highway. I didn’t know if it was just my anxiety or what but he actually listened and we never found out if I was just nuts or if anything happened. I don’t think I really wanted to know.
The night before my dog died last year both me and my youngest daughter felt something was off.
It usually doesn’t happen that often but reacently it happened twice. I never know if it’s my immediate family or someone else close to us.
Last weekend I was supposed to go on a camping trip in Ohio. Unfortunatly I wound up with bronchitis with a touch of pneumonia early in the week and sent my family without me. I had a bad feeling the night before they left but was hoping everything was ok and didn’t want to freak them out by telling them. As it happens I was meant to stay home for a very good friend of mine who needed me. Once she was okay and with me the feeling went away.
This past Sunday I woke up with that feeling. I knew something was going to go wrong. My daughter babysat for a good friend of ours only to have her call us to pick her up as he was injured in an ATV accident. He is okay but when I heard that I knew my bad feelings from that morning had let loose. The creepy part is my yougest again told me she felt something that morning as well.
Once I know what the bad thing is I feel better. Not better as in I am happy but my mental state is better because I feel like I don’t have to worry anymore.
Everything happens for a reason. I just hate waking up and spending my day worrying, waiting until something bad happens. I wish there was something I could do to know, to stop things from happening but most often I can’t and can just be there for the aftermath.
Am I nuts? Is it some womens intuition? Is there something out there telling me something? Again, am I nuts?
Personally
Jan 27th
I don’t think I have written anything personal on here for awhile.
One thing I will note is I have been fixing my blog. Some of the pics were hosted on the blog before I started this one. I guess the importer didn’t do a very good job. So some pics didn’t work at all and I want them all hosted in one place. So I have been working on putting all my pics the way I want them, not the way the importer placed them. If you have visited any old pages that would explain the missing pics. I am doing as many as I can over the weekends and hope to finish soon.
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The Good
- My house is warm.
- I have food.
- My kids are awesome!
- I have a job.
- The co-worker friend and I made up at our work party. I approached her about the issue and all she told me was someone told her I was talking about her. She couldn’t recall what was said. It felt like high school. I have no idea what I did wrong, and it’s very likely it was made up to get us mad at each other, but I don’t know. I am a pretty upfront person and I told her that if she ever has an issue to just ask me, shit I will tell her. Although we talk at work, things are not the same. I miss hanging out with her, but I am glad that we can at least talk at work and not avoid each other anymore.
- My sister is taking me grocery shopping while the bad is happening. I am lucky to have a sister that I can count on! Thank you!!!!!!
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The Bad
- My husband got laid off, which meant they took his work truck and his cell phone.
- He didn’t apply for unemployment for almost two weeks after the fact.
- He has been hiding in his man cave in his basement depressed. He is blaming the medication he has to take for seizures. Him hiding in his man cave is nothing new.
- My youngest hasn’t been able to attend gymnastics, that is already paid for, because I have no one to take her and pick her up.
- He needs to make another doctor appointment to get the doc to sign off on the papers for him to drive, but keeps putting it off.
- We are arguing alot. I keep reminding him of things he needs to do (like unemployment and doc appts) and he is getting more and more aggravated with me about that. Forget that aside from the first few days he hasn’t cooked dinner or done anything in the house. I work all day, take 2 buses home, cook dinner and try to clean up. When we both work I still did most everything in the house. He gets laid off and I still do most everything in the house. It doesn’t seem fair.
- This category could turn ugly soon. After 17 years of bullshit I am tired of bullshit. I am tired of being there no matter what, and not getting the same in return. I am tired of loving and not getting the love back.
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The Ugly
- I am not talking to one of my sisters. Right before xmas she had nasty things to say about my other sisters fiancée as well as my sister. I am very close with the other sister, always have been. She gets jealous even though she is the one who moved further away from us, doesn’t return calls, doesn’t come around or even talk to our kids. There is so much more to the story that I will not share online because it’s not my life to share but trust me she deserves to not be talked to.
- After the things she said I un-invited her to xmas dinner at my house. I wanted a happy xmas not some drama filled one.
- She in retaliation told me to take her pics off facebook. My facebook security is like fort knox. I know 90% of the people I am friends with. I don’t see my facebook photo albums as being any different than showing friends my photo albums that were over my house. I guess she really doesn’t want to be a part of the family.
- In retaliation she threatened to tell my work things I have said online. Anything on my blog having to do with work is password protected now. Some isn’t even bad, but I wanted to be safe. I did warn my boss and my dad (both part owners of the company) just to be safe. We all know that I am upfront and my boss agreed that he didn’t need to hear what she had to say and that he knows how I feel about work.
- In retaliation she said even worse things directly to my sister than she said to me.
- She said I put too much personal info online. On facebook and my blog. I stopped being so personal to think about it for awhile. I realized that she is not me and can just Frack off. I will be me as that is all I know how to be.
- I blocked her on facebook and removed her from my blogs fan page. I also had my children block her.
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So there you have the personal stuff that hasn’t been included in my blog for awhile.
If your on Twitter, you may know some of it. If your on Facebook you probably know most of it. If you know me offline you probably know all the details 
Here is to hoping that winter goes away and 2011 becomes a better year somehow. I know I have had enough drama.
Adult Friendships
Dec 17th
I have had many friendships over the years as I’m sure most people have. Some friendships end because you get into an argument, some because you just have nothing in common.
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With a good friend an argument wouldn’t get in the way. You talk about it and move on. That’s how any healthy relationship works. Sometimes you need time to cool off and think but you always find your way back.
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Unfortunatly not all relationships are healthy ones and that’s not limited to friendships but any relationship.
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I’ve lost friends for various reasons as an adult.
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* I can pinpoint one I let go of in my early 20′s. I had kids, she didn’t. It is difficult at that age when most 20 somethings want to party. Many don’t understand parenthood nor do they want to.
* I’ve cut a few people out of my life who have hurt my kids. Made promises, made them cry, etc. One thing you don’t do is mess with my kids.
* It’s been years but some friends I lost because they flirted with my husband. Openly. Big no no!
* Some people I have lost touch with. Facebook has helped get in touch with many people but we really aren’t friends anymore. Posting on someones wall isn’t the same as talking in person. Posting Happy Birthday isn’t the same as going out to celebrate it. It’s so hard to reconnect with people you only Facebook with. You really need to take the friendship outside of the internet world.
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Some of these people I would never talk to again. I hold grudges when I feel it’s warrented. Hurting my kids, hitting on my husband, those are grudge holding worthy.
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I’ve reacently lost a friend. Could you guess that? I knew her for almost two years, worked with her, hung out with her, invited her to dinner and my kids birthday. It sucks loosing a friend especially when you never thought it could happen. When you think everything is going great. One day she stopped talking to me, stopped answering my texts, went out of her way to avoid me. I noticed it, even asked her about it. I was assured nothing was wrong at one time but I know it was a lie. I think I figured out why, but that doesn’t matter as she choose to ignore it and not deal with it. So that is over now.
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Loosing family is even harder.
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I am hopefully on to greater things and new friends. I look forward to new things life may bring me.
Another Year and Another Puppy
Sep 14th
Ok so it’s my birthday today. My kids remembered (last year they didn’t).
My hubby remembered.
My mom remembered (got my card already! thanks mom!)
My FB Friends remembered What would we do without facebook reminding us about birthdays. Makes you wonder if even half the people who wish you happy birthday would without facebook reminding them to. Hell, who cares I’ll take it! LOL Thank you to all my friends who wished me a happy birthday today!
We don’t really do much to celebrate our birthdays, hubby and I. It’s not as much of a big deal with you have kids birthday’s to plan every year. I don’t place much importance on one day, I am happy to wake up every day. This year I feel bad that hubby had to forgo much of a birthday. I purchased his card two days prior. That is a good thing cause after our dog passed away the day before his birthday I was in no shape to even think about it let alone think to get a card. The kids and I did sing happy birthday to him at the hour he was born. I think he appreciated that. We were mourning and it didn’t feel right to celebrate. I don’t feel right celebrating my birthday either really.
I went through a lot over just a few days. Things I can’t even write about here. I contemplated quitting my job. We have had so much go on at home that I feel like I can’t be the mom I had been before I worked. I miss being there when they get home, being able to cook more, having the time to notice when things aren’t right. We can’t do it financially right now but I do want to make that a goal. My obsession with moving isn’t as strong right now either. I want that one day, but I am not sure it’s the right thing to do right now.
This past Sunday I got a call. Someone had a female, long haired Chihuahua. We drove an hour to see it. I don’t know if it is right to replace my Angel so soon but we couldn’t leave this dog with the family that had it. When we arrived we were met on the front porch by a mother and the dirtiest kids I had ever seen. The puppy we came to see practically jumped from the child that had it and kissed us like crazy. The one child seemed to enjoy making her growl and bark at her by squeezing her back leg. They had other dogs, cats, you name it. I was told she had all her shots up to date but I don’t believe that as there is no proof and no rabies tag so she will get shots. She also told me on the phone she had a flea dip but was completely saturated in fleas. I had to scrub her pretty good! She will receive all the love and care she needs with us!
I took this pic on the ride back home, which was an adventure in itself.
The exit off the toll road was closed. The main bridge GPS told us to take was closed. We circled around for about 20 minutes or so until GPS could give us a route that didn’t include a closed road. I was starting to wonder if we were in a bad movie. We finally found a way home. It took a hell of a lot longer but we made it.
This is Baby at my work. We are calling her Baby right now, she likes it. She is about 14 months old (we will find out for sure when she see’s the vet this week).
She is sooo sweet and warms up to everyone easily. She loves to give kisses and nibble on your ears. Luckily I work somewhere that allows me to bring her. I can close the doors to my office and just let her roam, play or sleep as she wishes.
She also loves to just curl up in a ball and go to sleep.
While not exactly alike she reminds me so much of my Angel. Just in the way she looks and behaves. I still shed tears for my Angel but I am thankful that I have Baby in my life.
Do you have any birthday stories or puppy tales you could share with me?
Ways to get on my good side
Mar 13th
If I am lucky enough that you care to make me smile even if only once here are ways you can acheive that.
- offer to help. To carry something for me, listen to me cry, offer me a ride, whatever you fancy. I may not take you up on it but the offer is nice. I try to offer my help when I’m able.
- let me pick where to go. Maybe just maybe I’m tired of going the same places you wanna go but I don’t wanna be rude about it.
- give me money. Yeah I know that won’t happen but how about a $1 lottery ticket? Doesn’t hurt to ask 
- be nice to my kids. Dude seriously there my kids. Don’t promise anything to them that you can’t follow through with.
- accept me for who I am. If you don’t like that I may tell you how it is don’t ask and really if you think it’s too much for you there are better suited friends out there for both of us.
- don’t lie to me. If you really don’t want to hang out with me just be honest. And if you don’t wanna hang out with me why are we friends again?
- check ur judgemental shit at the door. I’m all for honesty. If I ask you how my hair looks before going somewhere yes be honest. But please don’t tell me how you hate my haircolor or how my daughter wears too much eyemakeup. And i would prefer if you dont refer to my son as a fruit. Your being judgemental and see above about being nice to my kids.
- speaking of hanging out with me since when did friends stop doing things together? Let’s go out. Weather it be just us, couples or a family day is all good. I’m sure we can find the time. I see no point in calling people friends that don’t think it’s something we should do.
- tell me when I’ve done something wrong. Not only would I tell you if you have but I really might not know I have. I like to keep good friends.
- accept that you asked for my advice. I’m most brutally honest when you ask for it and most likely will tell you what an asshole your behaving like. You asked.
Really should I have labeled this topic as “How to get along with me”? I dunno if that’s a good or bad thing.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod Touch
Bad Friends
Mar 3rd
Yeah, you know who you are. If you have to ask if this blog is about you, it probably is. For most of you I love you, I really do, but obviously something is missing. Something I feel that need to blog about. Some of you just make me sick and I really wish you would stop f’ing talking to me.
Too many of you take advantage of me. I seem to gravitate towards drama filled people, don’t ask me why cause I’m not sure I have an answer (one I want to admit anyway). But what in the hell gives you the idea that it’s okay to dump all your shit on me all the time and expect me to listen, give advice, etc. and then the few freaking times I need to dump your busy, going through too much of your own crap, whatever your excuse is if you even answer the damn phone. I mean there is only so much a person can take before they wanna write you off and be done with you. But of coarse the nice side of me gives in usually and continues to allow you people to dump your shit in my house, my ear. My house is full of its own shit so please give some consideration now and then huh?
Now back to your regularly scheduled programming………………..
