Posts tagged family
What Christmas means to me:
Good food, family and the spirit of giving. That is the simplest explanation of why I celebrate. I am not religious.
I love the holiday movies with favorites being ‘A Christmas Story’ (24 full hours every year) ‘Christmas Vacation’ and ‘Elf’.
I love Christmas music, particularly punk rock Christmas music.
I love making a big dinner for people. Even better with helping hands to put more love into the meal.
I love giving gifts. I’ve never felt I was too over the top. I always choose items I think the other person would want or need. If you just pick something to give something I don’t see the point.
I had everything I wanted this Christmas.
This was the best Christmas ever!
Enjoy my new favorite Christmas song to go with my first year living in a beach town
Christmas in the Sand
Merry Christmas from my family to yours
The weather has been crazy this year. Our winter was pretty decent considering I hate the cold and snow and it was tolerable for me. It started getting very warm early in the year. I remember snow and ice in February not 70 degree’s outside and sunny. Not complaining one bit. If you add sand and waves I am home.
My moods are about as bi-polar as the weather these days. If it wasn’t for prozac I can’t imagine how much worse it would be. I get moody and cranky but they are a direct effect of life happenings.
Yes, in a previous post you read that my husband is Transgender. If you don’t know what that is basically it is when a person of one sex wants to be the other sex. So my husband wants to be a woman. Just about everyone knows now. And now he is questioning himself. I think he lied to his therapist about his family, therefore allowing things to go quicker and not involving us at all. He started this journey much earlier than when he started to tell people, it has been going on for awhile. I hope he figures out what he wants before he does something he can’t reverse.
So many decisions weigh on me. From moving, to being open to others, to what is important to me, to shit I just don’t stop thinking sometimes. All I know is I don’t ever want to go back into the dark, depressed hole I was once in for a few years. I won’t ever allow that to happen again. I just need to continue to ask for help and support from those who understand.
I am still painting, drawing, etc. It is a great creative outlet for me. I need an outlet to keep me sane. Between that, my best friend and my kids they keep me going. I have hope for myself to do what I want.
I think my non household family is getting the shit end of the stick on it all. I haven’t been talking to them much. It’s not that I don’t want to, I just don’t know. I am not where I want to be in life and I don’t want to keep talking about it. I am just trying to keep it together. I hope they understand.
Waiting for the sun and sand…….
Yes, my husband is Transgender. I have wanted to write about this for some time but I wanted my close family and friends to know before I wrote about it.
Sorry to shock those who didn’t already know.
We have been married 18 years and have 3 wonderful kids together. There were signs early on and we all ignored them, even him.
He was unhappy with himself and depressed. I was unhappy that we couldn’t seem to have a normal relationship. My own behavior at our problems was an issue. I spent many years working on it.
The final stage was when we started going to marriage counseling. I was an emoitional mess and could never figure out what was so wrong with me that my love went on deaf ears.
Through marriage counseling our counselor encouraged him to seek out help for being Transgender. We stopped going to counseling and he was dealing with himself.
I encouraged him to be whomever he wanted to be happy.
The end result is I am moving out. Not because of who he is, but because of the spouse/marriage partner/lover he cannot be. He is letting me go very easily to persue a new life.
So there you have the very basic version. Those who are close know much more. I just fear that he is giving off the impression that I am leaving because of who he is.
Why wouldn’t I stay in the house and he move? Because he “isn’t in an emotional state to deal with moving.” Why not stay until he is? That could take another 18 years for all I know.
All that seems to matter is what he is going through and how hard this is for him.
So, maybe one day I will be more comfortable sharing more about our life together, but for now I think that is enough for the public.
Hoping to find a place soon and move on with my own life. I only hope the best for him but,
I am just trying to live.
Sometimes that is exactly what I want to do. December was always one of my favorite months. I enjoy the family time, decorating, giving, etc that comes with this time of year. I hate the snow and the cold but in my decorated house I am warm and fuzzy.
As I get older I am having a hard time with the sadness that also comes with this time of year for some people. Many people get sad with the cold weather and it getting darker earlier. But for those who have lost a loved one this time of year it is extra difficult.
For me it started in 2006 when I lost my father in December. I don’t talk about him much but I do think about him. The following December a family friend passed away. A beautiful mother of two who was way too young to die. It just continues…. my one bosses father just passed two days ago, my friends brother, and the sad news that my mother in law is in stage 4 cancer.
December should be off limits for bad news if you ask me. But we have to try and continue on and remember all the good things about the people we love. Life is short. Make sure to spend time with your family over the holidays!
Happy Holidays and may Angels watch over you.
Do you ever get the feeling that something bad is going to happen? It has happened to me many times over the years.
One in particular in the past was while driving on the highway something horrible came over me and I told my husband to get off the highway. I didn’t know if it was just my anxiety or what but he actually listened and we never found out if I was just nuts or if anything happened. I don’t think I really wanted to know.
The night before my dog died last year both me and my youngest daughter felt something was off.
It usually doesn’t happen that often but reacently it happened twice. I never know if it’s my immediate family or someone else close to us.
Last weekend I was supposed to go on a camping trip in Ohio. Unfortunatly I wound up with bronchitis with a touch of pneumonia early in the week and sent my family without me. I had a bad feeling the night before they left but was hoping everything was ok and didn’t want to freak them out by telling them. As it happens I was meant to stay home for a very good friend of mine who needed me. Once she was okay and with me the feeling went away.
This past Sunday I woke up with that feeling. I knew something was going to go wrong. My daughter babysat for a good friend of ours only to have her call us to pick her up as he was injured in an ATV accident. He is okay but when I heard that I knew my bad feelings from that morning had let loose. The creepy part is my yougest again told me she felt something that morning as well.
Once I know what the bad thing is I feel better. Not better as in I am happy but my mental state is better because I feel like I don’t have to worry anymore.
Everything happens for a reason. I just hate waking up and spending my day worrying, waiting until something bad happens. I wish there was something I could do to know, to stop things from happening but most often I can’t and can just be there for the aftermath.
Am I nuts? Is it some womens intuition? Is there something out there telling me something? Again, am I nuts?