I love that you kiss my forehead. There is just something so sweet about it.

I love the way you look at me. I can feel your love and your passion through your eyes.

I love that you hold my hand. Our fingers fit perfectly together.

I love your smile. It tells me you are as happy as I am.

I love that you take care of me. I don’t even have to ask you do it because you want to.

Most of all I love the way you love me. You know how to make me feel on top of the world. I love you too <3

I feel alive.
It reflects in everything I do. I think more often before I speak. I wear brighter clothes. I look forward to waking up everyday.

YOU brought out the best in me my love <3. Thank you!

I am happy, don’t get me wrong.  I love my sweetie, I have 3 wonderful kids, and I live in paradise.

I wouldn’t change any of that.

What more could I want?

How about a job that pays me what I am worth for starters.

I bust my ass in a retail job where I don’t have a set schedule and almost never have a full time schedule.  The pay sucks, communication sucks, but I do enjoy the actual work.  I work days, nights, and weekends depending upon what they schedule me for. Sometimes I have to stay late, on last minutes notice that occasionally puts me at a 10 plus hour shift.  Sometimes I get asked to work on my day off.  Sometimes I have 15 hours.  I never know if I will be able to pay my bills from paycheck to paycheck.  Because of the hours I can’t work another part time job without risking loosing hours at my current job since they change so often. I have no benefits and most likely won’t ever be full time or qualify for benefits.

Many of my readers know my previous job was a bit dysfunctional   Yeah, that is putting it mid.  We don’t need to go there but it was bad.   I only got this job to put my daughter through private school.

Before that I was a mother and volunteer.  I didn’t finish college.  My daughter was struggling with her own education at a young age and It was more important to help her than finish myself.  I gained some great experience as a volunteer that while many employers find wonderful they don’t seem to allow my skills gained there to be transfered to a career.  That is my perspective.

I have a dream of opening a coffee/bake shop.  I have started research and started working on a business plan.  I don’t know if I can pull it off.  Yes, I have some doubt.  Should I continue if I have doubt?  I have doubt that I will ever get an investor.  It is so much work and for what?  If it takes me nowhere is it worth it?

I chose to be a mom.  I chose  not to worry about a career.  Never in that time did I envision that my life would be so different that I would need a job.  Now that I am nearing 40 I am worried.  Worried that all I will have is crappy, low paying jobs, with no insurance and expected to kill myself for that pay check.

I have thought about going back to school.  I have thought long and hard about that business of mine I want to run.  I am confused on where to go.  In the meantime I struggle to pay the bills, and be able to pay for medical attention when I need it.  I had lived in a ghetto in Pittsburgh for over 10 years.  I lived with a moron of a husband in a run down house.  I had no ambition other than I wanted my kids to have better than I did.  I knew what to expect and it wasn’t much.   I have since moved on.  I left that moron and run down house and moved far, far away.  Trying to survive outside the ghetto is harder than I ever thought.

I’ve always wanted more kids. I was the type of person that wanted nothing more out of life than to be a mom. I never longed for a career or to travel the world.

I knew when I was with my ex that he didn’t want anymore kids. Which was probably a good idea considering. He made sure he couldn’t have anymore right after our 3rd was born almost 14 years ago. I gave up hope and moved on.

My sweetie and I have discussed the idea since he has no children of his own and I’m sure his family would be interested in the idea of him having one.

I know how he feels about the subject. I could tell you his thoughts but this is about me. HA! Naw its not my place to speak for him here.
But how do I feel about it?
I really don’t know.

Hell No Option: I have 3 great kids. I don’t have to change diapers or get up in the middle of the night. No crying, screaming or tantrums from the likes of a toddler. I can come and go as I please. I have enough things to worry about financially. My body isn’t getting any younger. I had easy pregnancies, yeah I am one of those, but at my age now would it be so easy. Would I be the same kind of mother I was?

Awww how adorable option: Then the thoughts of that bundle of joy roll in. That sweet tiny human you can mold into a model citizen. The cute things they do and say. Knowing that my sweetie would make a great dad. Seriously when I flew to meet him I saw it. While swimming in the hotel pool he started to play with another family’s kids in the pool. It was the cutest thing ever. Baby’s in the grocery store catch his eye.

When I moved I left everyone I knew with babies and toddlers. So I don’t get any baby fixes anymore. Though i wonder if thats what made me want it more.

Shout out: I miss my sweet little munchkin that I watched grow up and is now in school. I miss you Ava!!!

So far I am letting fate take its course and I think I am okay with that. Fate brought me here where I am happy. Eventually I will reach my personal cut off level in age and have to decide if I am content with my decision.

After almost two years on Prozac I stopped taking it. It helped me through one of the worst times in my life but it was time to let go.

It’s been over 2 months now since I quit and I couldn’t feel better.

My life changes have plenty to do with it but I feel so much better about myself.

I feel free. No panic attacks. No depression. Just ….. Roxy

Wishing good mental health to all my readers.

I love the holiday movies with favorites being ‘A Christmas Story’ (24 full hours every year) ‘Christmas Vacation’ and ‘Elf’.

I love Christmas music, particularly punk rock Christmas music.

I love making a big dinner for people. Even better with helping hands to put more love into the meal.

I love giving gifts. I’ve never felt I was too over the top. I always choose items I think the other person would want or need. If you just pick something to give something I don’t see the point.

I had everything I wanted this Christmas.

Gift giving was humorous with some of us wrapping a gift in a gift, and many items wrapped inside another wrapped box.

My girls helped me make lunch for my sweeties family I got to meet today.

My sweetie helped me make dinner before having to go to work.

This was the best Christmas ever!
Enjoy my new favorite Christmas song to go with my first year living in a beach town
Christmas in the Sand

Merry Christmas from my family to yours

How did I get so lucky? I live in an amazing beach city, with amazing weather and with an amazing guy. With the guy being the absolute best part of it all.

Everything that led me up to today was worth it. All the pain, tears, heartache, and even the depression have made me who I am, and have led me to the life I now have.

Nothing is ever perfect in life but I have learned to enjoy and appreciate what I have. I have someone by my side. He loves me, for me. He is good to my kids, that aren’t his. If I died tomorrow I will have died a happy and full of life woman.

We bring out the best in each other. Playful bickering, teasing, tickling, and acting like general goofballs is the highlight of everyday.

The world is our “room”.

I amazed every morning when I wake up and see him by my side.
I am amazed that we fell into this insta family so easily.
I am amazed at the sky every day as I see the clouds and palm trees.
I am amazed that my kids, while they miss Pittsburgh, have adjusted rather well.
I am amazed that life can be so wonderful.

It’s 3:30 pm on my birthday and I have already had the best birthday I can remember.

My guy works until midnight so I was sleeping when he got home last night. He woke me up to a gift. He knew it was something I wanted.

My kids all remembered my birthday which made me happy . I still have many friends to thank on facebook for the birthday wishes as well.

My guy isn’t fond of the beach so it meant so much to me that he was willing to take me this morning and sit there with me.

He took me to breakfast at my favorite place for my favorite meal, Fresh fruit crepes at First Watch.

We finished off they day swimming in the pool before he went to work.

I don’t expect anything from you my love but know that it was an awesome day, thank you! I love you more everyday!

I have been searching for a job since before i moved here. I finally got a call to come in for an interview the other day. Everyone tells me the bus transit system here sucks compared to a big city. At first I didn’t believe them telling them how horrible Pittsburgh’s has been getting these days.

So this job interview just had to be in the middle of the day, way the hell up there…. Oh sorry it was somewhere kinda far. Anyway since it was middle of day my sweetie was able to drop me off on way to work and I had to take buses home. Unless its close by home I still haven’t figured this city out yet. The interview lasted all of 15 minutes and the girl interviewing me was from Pittsburgh. When it was over I had an hour until another bus was coming so I did some shopping.

Luckily I left the store earlier than I thought I needed to as it was a hike to the bus stop. Everything looks so much closer on google maps. By the time I reached the stop I had sweat pouring down my back, I know right so hot! Florida is damn hot. I keep forgetting the need for water when doing any activity including going to get the mail. So I wait for the bus to come and it was right on time, imagine that. It was a short bus, seriously.

The fare is much cheaper than Pittsburgh tho no transfers. Two buses here cost me $2.50, in Pittsburgh two buses costs $3.50 with a transfer.

Anyway thank goodness for google maps so I can see where we were compared to where I needed to get off the bus. I had to cross a very busy street with like four lanes in each direction. They have lights and crosswalks here but damn still freaks me out.

There I am standing on the side of the road, waiting, sweating. I was thankful the next bus a/c was in high gear! It didn’t take long to realize I was on the ghetto bus going through the hood. I lived in a hood for 12 years, but I don’t know this hood so a little fear of the unknown I guess. Obviously I made it out just fine

I finally make it to downtown Sarasota where I could take yet another bus or walk home. I decide to stop in Whole Foods, which is huge here, and walk instead of paying for another bus. BIG mistake! Downtown is pretty dead in the early evening. Unless you count the homeless people that they call vagrants here. So here I am having traveled by two buses already, sweaty and tired, in new sandals and a dress and I decide to walk. It took me 30 minutes to get home, on foot, in the Florida heat. WTF was I thinking?

When I finally made it home Dinner was pretty much….. Get it your damn self lol

I guess that was one way of getting to know some of this city

Check out this pic of some ducks I saw close to home on my way back.

Did I mention I love it here? Cause I do

I have now been a resident of Sarasota, FL for a week and 4 days. 1000 miles away from my hometown and not looking back. My children are in school and seem to be doing very well so far in the new surroundings. I am positive, smiley and happy and have been ever since I met him.