As many of my readers know…. Wait I have readers?  Well, maybe I did but I’m not so sure anymore.  Anyway you may know that I had anxiety issues and started taking medication.  I gave a few updates then I disappeared from my blog.  I haven’t posted any of my week in photo’s hell I am lucky if I took many photo’s.

I stopped posting on Twitter.  Of coarse there are a few random and annoying posts from foursquare or Getglue about things I may be doing or watching and don’t feel like telling Twitter anything else.

Facebook I have been faithful to.  It’s like crack.  I call it Facecrack.  So while I may still be on Facecrack I wasn’t posting every little thing anymore.  I used to post when I was pissed, annoyed, outraged, ecstatic, bored, whatever.  Everyone knew everything.  Well okay not everything.  Only what the world could handle.   What stopped me from posting everything?  I believe it is the magick medication I am taking.  They really need to call Prozac Fukitol.

I think I am on to stage 3 on the about page.

Euphoria induced, where you realize that life is a journey and not a destination. Where you dream as if you’ll live forever, but live as if you’ll die today.

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It’s good and it’s bad.

* I quit being such a bitch.  Granted you piss me off enough or fuck with my kids watch out, but generally I am not so annoyed with everything and everyone all the time.

* I forget things.  Important things.  Like paying bills.  Have the money, just doesn’t seem important all the time.  So thats not a  good thing.

*  I don’t care if I am not appreciated at work anymore.  I work, I get paid, I go home.  That’s not so bad.  It’s not like I work somewhere that advancement is really an option.  It is what it is and I am just less pissed about it.

* My marriage is difficult.   No details but trust me I am still struggling on this even with the medication.  I think right now I am just all … whatever.  I am going with the flow.  Not pushing issues, not arguing.  You would think that would be great right?  The downside?  He is trying to be closer to me and I think sometimes I come off that I don’t care.  And I dunno I just might not.  It might be too little too late.  Whats going on just might be too much for me.

* I have been on medication before where I didn’t feel at all.  I couldn’t cry.  I honestly sometimes didn’t know what was going on.  This is different.  I do feel normal.  I feel better.  I feel happier.  But it is still an adjustment.

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Can’t get a raise.  At least I have a job.

Do your taxes?  Yeah, the night they were due at like 10pm.

Can’t focus?  Pretend you can.

I can fall asleep much easier and get up in the morning.

I don’t always feel like something is wrong and I am going to die.

I don’t cry about the thought of dying.

When I do have thoughts and a panic attack starts to come on it goes away just as fast as it came.

Can’t afford extras because someone was laid off for medical reasons?  Plan a trip to NYC and a beach vacation in the same summer.

F**CK it all.