I have been gone a long time haven’t I? I apologize for that my dear friends and readers. While I haven’t blogged much in a very long time I have been writing. Just the other day I renewed my website for another 2 years. Seriously, it was just the other day. It automatically comes out of my bank account and I did nothing to stop it. I had many weeks of notice and still did nothing. Now I am stuck with this website, on purpose. I have had some exciting things happen and can’t wait to share them. I have decided to remove
all most of my past blog posts for the time being, The exception will be those linked on Pinterest as that would just be mean. I am sure the 10,473 48 people that re-pinned my links would be very upset with me if I got rid of those posts. I leave you with nothing but this short update, the few linked on Pinterest, and the dream of what is to come.
Imagine, if you will, with me.
- Imagine a beautiful new design.
- Imagine hearing from me more often.
- Imagine that I bring back some of those old posts. Some of them need some serious editing. Maybe I will label them “My Past Life”. What will I write about? I am not sure even I know the answer to that just yet.
I have always used art as a form of therapy. Sometimes when I am happy, most often when I’m angry or upset. My art of choice is typically drawing or painting. I have a couple notebooks and keep some canvas on the ready just incase I want to explode. You just pour yourself onto the paper or canvas.
Do you think your not creative enough? It doesn’t have to be anything at all really you can just pour paint on the paper and swirl it around. Your not trying to be Picasso, you are letting your feelings out so just go with whatever happens.
If you feel you must have some inspiration you can try a book. Here are two that I own and have found some good ideas from them. My stuff never turns out how the people in the book make it and that is ok!
You can also search the internet. I have found myself spending a couple hours just searching ideas in preparation for when I need it. Save yourself some time and check out my pinterest board for Art Inspiration. I have a variety of pins including quotes and tutorials.
What do you need?
You can use whatever is in your home. Paper, #2 pencils, crayons, cardboard. The possibilities are endless.
Since this is for therapy and not to make money my supplies are pretty basic. It started out small and grew as I tried different mediums and decided I liked using them.
Here is a list of supplies I have on hand at all times:
These notebooks allow many different media types. I paint with acrylic, water color, draw with pencil, micron pens, etc. Makes it easier to have one book for everything.
* Canson 9-Inch by 12-Inch Extra Long Multi-Media Paper Pad, 60-Sheet
To me these are the best drawing pencils.
* Faber-Castell 9000 Pencil Design Set
Student paint and the price was right. I also love the color choices! I don’t often have to mix colors other than maybe making a color lighter.
* Studio 71 – 24 Tube Paint Set
I purchased these brushes when I lived in Pittsburgh and haven’t been able to find them anywhere in Sarasota. I have a couple different packs so I should be good for awhile. Just get something cheap but not natural hair as it tends to come out in the paint.
* Studio 71 Premium Brushes
This is basic canvas and the price isn’t bad.
* Darice Studio 71 8-Inch-by-10-Inch Traditional Canvas
Sponges are great for making a textured look on acrylic.
* Arts & Crafts Painting Sponges
Watercolor paper is expensive so I only have this 6×6 pad so far.
* Global Art Fluid Watercolor Blocks 6 in. x 6 in. block
Instead of washing out a plastic palette I use these sheets and just throw them away when I am done.
* Darice Studio 71 9-Inch-by-12-Inch, 40-Sheet Palette
These are great pens for zentangle and journaling. I have a couple different sized black ones and some color ones as well.
* Sakura 30068 8-Piece Pigma Micron Clam Assorted Colors 01 Ink Pen Set
Charcoal pencils are messy but one of my favorite things to work with.
* General Pencil Charcoal Pencil Kit W/Eraser 557BP
When I draw with charcoal I use this eraser to remove some of the charcoal to create lines.
* Pentel Clic Eraser Grip Retractable Eraser with Grip, Assorted Barrels, 1 Pack (ZE21BP-K6)
I sometimes use colored pencils with my pencil and charcoal drawing just to give it a little color.
* Prismacolor Premier Colored Pencils, 24 Assorted Color Pencils
So go get messy, it’s ok! Make some art!
The emotions that go along with the loss of a miscarriage are emotions I never could grasp until it happened to me. Right now my body is worn out from the pain, the crying and the anger. My feelings go back and forth.
March 3, 2013 I walked out of the hospital not remembering where I was. I saw palm trees and realized, “Oh yeah, I live in Florida.” I only moved here last year and I felt like I was in another world after all the hours I laid in the hospital bed at Sarasota Memorial Hospital just a few blocks from where I live.
I started having pain a few days before, then spotting. I went to the hospital I had planned on delivering at in hopes of finding out what was going on. I have had 3 births in my younger years and never had problems like this. That hospital trip left me even more confused and unsure of what was going on. First a guy drew blood. I am afraid of needles and he took so long and wouldn’t shut up. He insisted on taking blood from a vein in my hand. That vein is now puffy days later. Once I was in a room a registration guy game in and took some info. He also did a palm scan. I had never heard of a hospital doing that before. He said it was to keep records secure and easily accessible for future visits. He asked for typical information such as my address and insurance information. We didn’t get to finish since the doctor came in but said he would return later. He never did. The doctor diagnosed me with a UTI and said it was normal for some ppl to not have any symptoms. When asked about the pain and bleeding he said that it could be an early miscarriage but he saw no blood and said I should be fine. He gave me 90% to deliver to full term and said my HCG of 4016 was normal for 10 weeks. I didn’t see him again after that.
I waited in the room for some time. A cleaning guy came in and emptied both the regular trash and the red bag trash into the same bin he was rolling around. Tell me what the point of having them separate is if they get tossed out together anyway? He didn’t even put new bags in so some trash was left behind in the used bag.
I felt like this was such a wasted trip. No other tests, no ultrasound and sent me on my way. It was around 5am at that point. I was exhausted but knew something wasn’t right. I spent that day in more pain than when I went to the ER but eventually it went away so I tried to stay hopeful.
When I woke up on the final day I laid in bed for what felt like hours in what was the worst pain I’ve ever had. I couldn’t move and my boyfriend told me I had to go back to the ER. I don’t know that I could really even think right at the time.
We arrived and checked in at the hospital and the worst part of the pain seemed to be over. I sat in the waiting room exhausted. I was too tired to even talk at times so my boyfriend answered many questions for me.
First they drew blood again. I made it clear I didn’t want him to take it from my hand and how displeased I was with the last guy. He said they don’t like to use the hand and mentioned the guy from the other night was a fireman. After some time had passed I was wheeled to ultrasound. The entire time the technician was quiet. She didn’t show me the screen at any point. I knew that couldn’t be a good sign. After being in the waiting room a while longer I was taken to a room where I spent a few more hours of my day.
A doctor came in and said my tests weren’t ready yet and that he would be back when they all were. He gave me his business card. Ummmm ok
I got a visit from a different registration guy than the other day. When I mentioned I was there a few days ago he did a palm scan to pull up my information. He mentioned he was going to retake my picture. I was shocked and said, “What?!” He said the picture they had wasn’t good. That the last guy took it from too far away and had my boyfriend and the entire room in it. I told him I had no idea they guy even took a picture. I also told him he never came back to the room. He said he would make sure someone knew about that as he should have informed me. I mentioned the doctor giving me his business card and he said,
“You should see some of these doctors have huge cards with pictures and everything.”
He held up his hand demonstrating the size of an oversized index card. All i could do was shake my head. Ego much? I signed a form saying my information was correct and off he went. Not long after a lady came in and informed me that she was the lead registration technician. She asked about my visit with the other guy and I told her. She then showed me a piece of paper like the one I had just signed and asked if I saw it before or signed it. No! The first guy forged my signature! I really hope he got fired. I’m flabbergasted!
The nurses also had left another patient’s urine in the room. I made them remove it. I’m so not pleased with this hospital.
About an hour passed by and the doctor returned with a nurse. It appeared as if they were going to do an exam. As if it was no big deal he said I had miscarried and continued on with the exam, while I was in tears. He then said my levels were even lower than the other night. I was in shock and mentioned not being able to see the ultrasound and his response was,
“Thats not her responsibility.”
When he was done he left the room. So cold.
He stayed away for awhile while I cried. Luckily my boyfriend was right there by my side. This answer was not what he was expecting. I suspected but wouldn’t allow myself to believe it.
The doctor once again returned and was asked about the UTI. He said untreated it could be why. Really?!?!? I had no symptoms and I don’t know but I felt like he was placing blame. I told him about the doctor the other day giving me a 90% rating and saying my levels were normal. He said the doctor diagnosed correctly and he agreed. Then added that even if they knew there was nothing they could have done to stop it. I just wanted to punch this guy in the face.
I had a visit from another doctor who informed me that this was no one’s fault and they were waiting to talk to an OB to see what to do from here as there was still some tissue left.
The first doctor eventually returned and said the OB said I could go home and let it pass on my own. He said he would get me discharged very soon.
And more waiting…….
At this point I was ready to rip the IV out and just go home.
My boyfriend went to the nurse. Apparently the doctor never told them to release me! She made sure to find out if I was being released and did my paperwork ASAP. As she took the IV out she leaned over and said,
“I’m really sorry.”
For her kindness I thank her, as she was the only one who really was.
I now struggle to hold back the tears. I don’t want to look at my body for I will see the un-bloated belly and my boobs that are already back to normal. I know eventually I will be okay. I have the most wonderful man to support me. It will take time.
The next step is deciding if we want to risk going through this again and try before I’m too old (in my own mind). Whatever we decide I am happy and more in love with him everyday.
If you made it through this story, thank you for reading. If this has happened to you, I’m truly am sorry.
If you feel the need to say anything to me about this matter….. Hugs are nice, I’m sorry is cool, but what I really want and need is laughter. Post it here or on Facebook. Pics, videos, whatever. I won’t complain that you plastered my wall with 10 hilarious videos, not one bit! Make me laugh for laughter is the best medicine.
When vacationing on Hilton Head Island I found a great place called The Frosty Frog. They are known for their tasty and strong daiquiris made with grain alcohol.
They make the best crab cakes I’ve ever had! If you order the crab cake sandwich you get a side of Deviled Egg Potato Salad. After years of searching I came up with something similar and yummy even though its not the same.
Let me know what you think when you try it!
Deviled Egg Potato Salad
- 3/4 c mayonnaise
– 3 tbsp cider vinegar
– 1 tbsp Dijon mustard
– 1 1/2 tsp sugar
– 3/4 tsp salt
– 1/2 tsp black pepper
– 3 pounds cooked small boiling potatoes
– 2 hard-boiled large eggs, chopped
– 3/4 c finely chopped sweet onion
– 3/4 c finely chopped celery
– Paprika (optional)
Hard boil the eggs. Allow to cool in cold water before peeling skins off.
Boil the potatoes with skins on. When cool peel and chop into bite sized pieces.
For the dressing:
Whisk together mayo, cider vinegar, sugar, salt, mustard, and pepper into a small bowl. Pour the dressing over the prepared potatoes.
Add the onion, celery and eggs. Stir and sprinkle with paprika if desired. Cover and chill in fridge at least 2 hours or overnight for best taste.
This Spaghetti Sauce is something everyone loves. It is on the thick and sweet side.
I use it for Spaghetti, Stuffed Shells, and dipping just about anything into!
Use it for meatball hoagies, dipping bread sticks into or how about just meatballs and sauce!
I make more than one batch of this recipe and freeze the rest.
So much better than jar sauce and is extremely easy to make.
Sweet Victory Spaghetti Sauce
Serves: 4 for a Spaghetti Dish